Being a great fan of National Public Radio, I often get ideas for Blogs from the excellent journalists who interview fascinating people. The other day on NPR there was a book review for a writer Ross Gay whose newest offering “The Book of Delights” made me ponder on that word that I seldom hear; even the word “delight” might seem old-fashioned in a world full of angst and doomsayers. It’s clear that anxiety seems to be far more discussed these days. When did you last hear anyone say that their life is delightful?
It was pointed out that delight is when you can wake up in joyous anticipation of a new day, rather than finding yourself in dread of rolling out of bed (a state in which most anxious and depressed folks find themselves). Often you might want to share this with another- (‘did you see the sunset?’) Delight is an invitation to “come gasp with me” at something which uplifts and inspires you. It may ignite something inside that you may want to express, like taking a photo or dancing on the spot. Children seem to have access to delight when experiencing the anticipation of small joys, like getting on a bus for the first time, or seeing a rabbit run. There is an expression that comes from Mindfulness practice (a DBT core skill) that talks about cultivating ‘beginners mind ‘or ‘child mind’. There is a direct correlation between Mindfulness (staying in the Present Moment with all your senses tuned), and delight. If you are always worrying about the future (‘what if?’) or regretting the past (‘if only’) there is no room for the Present Moment where delight and joy might live. Ross Gay points out that one has to be curious and let go of the preoccupation with thoughts to be able to experience delight; it seems to be about waking up with one’s senses enlivened.
There was also some discussion about how as an adult, you get to have comparisons from your experiences of sorrow as well as joy in life. How else would one know what really delights one without experiencing the opposite? An example: I was given a painting years ago which I treasured, but it was taken back in anger by the giver. I was sad about this. Recently for Christmas I was given a new picture by our daughter which is hung now in the same place as the old, and I delight in this every time I catch sight of it. It seems so fresh and more suitable on that wall.
If delight is not a word that you find in your vocabulary these days, perhaps I can help you find it again; the practice of Mindfulness or remembering gratitude in your life could be the way back.
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