A group of my friends were recently discussing how it works when we trust ourselves.
That’s fascinating to me! I’ve spent most of my life exploring how to know whether I am on the right path. Whether it’s choosing a partner that is right for me, or whether I’m in the place I’m supposed to be living. I know that bad choices can make for a lot of sleeplessness!
So it makes sense to learn how to choose what’s best for you. You can learn how to let your body be an oracle to help you. Wouldn’t it be great to really feel in your bones that you can trust a situation, a person, a life choice?
At first it’s not easy. Let’s face it, that old cliché of “life happening when you’re making other plans” seems to ring true for most of us! A lot of anxiety comes up when our lives seem to be “out of sync” with our inner needs. We feel betrayed. Maybe a partner leaves unexpectedly, or we get passed over for a promotion, or we have so many disappointments that we give up on life.
We may feel like we’ve simply checked out of our bodies in self defense. We live in our thinking brains because that’s what society trains us to do. So we stay stuck there. But when we start feeling lost and afraid, we need to change strategies.
So where to start? First of all, since many of us have lost the skill of ‘checking in‘ with our internal messages, it is helpful to start with the body. This can tell us a lot about our emotional state and what’s driving the show. Body sensations are usually linked to emotions. Knowing what we are feeling helps us get what we need in life.
The way to “check in” with our body messages involves getting still and turning our attention inwards. Concentrating on our inner landscape works better when we are in a quiet place with less stimulation and outside movement. Once we practice tuning into our feelings this way, our body wisdom tells us what we need. This is often a short cut to trying to figure it out in our thinking minds.
Diane (not her real name) had a lot of pain- unexplained joint stiffness, headaches, sometimes ringing in her ears. She also felt very overwhelmed emotionally. She did not like being in her body and used alcohol to regularly “check out”. After working with me she was able to check inside and notice how her physical pain was an SOS for issues she’d stuffed such as fear, sadness and shame. She then began to express these and successfully face the source of her anxiety. This meant that she could identify what she needed. This completely changed her life! With practice she found she had much more energy, less pain and more hopefulness about the future.
So, checking inwards using stillness, helps you reconnect to your own body wisdom and inner knowing. Your emotions and feelings give you guidance. That helps you trust that your mind and your body are “in sync”, and that you are making wise choices.
Meditation, traditional yoga and body based therapies are some of the best bets to help you develop trust in your decision making.
