The National Geographic some years ago had an article with research on longevity. There were seniors who were living into their 100’s in three different areas of the world. All these seniors agreed that one reason to stay on the planet was having friends and family around. So we know that feeling connected and loved is huge. However it is so easy to lose touch with what’s important. You might have a stressful challenge or maybe work takes over, and you lose touch with what brings you joy. So what can help you regain that connection to what’s most important?
Seeing the Big Picture
First, you may need to take a step back and look at what is imbalanced in your life. Have you become a workaholic? Maybe you would really like a partner again but online dating scares you silly. Maybe you haven’t talked to your brother for a decade because one of you got your nose out of joint. You can take small steps towards balancing your human need for connection and your other needs.
One client really wanted to get out of her banking job with people half her age, and become a master gardener- she just couldn’t figure out how. By the end of our sessions together she quit her bank job and found something part-time so she could study in a community college class to learn skills forher new career. She felt very pleased with herself.
Another client wanted to make new friends even though he was very shy. He had some “virtual” Facebook friends but that was unsatisfying. He ended up finding a meet up group with folks who played board games, and found his niche.
You can set your own agenda. Even simple remembrances of what inspired you as a child canbe a good reminder of what an important thread of meaning has woven through your existence. Did building things really absorb you as a kid? Maybe you lived the neighbor’s house because they alwayshad music around. What would be fun to do with a group of new people after avoiding socializing foryears?
You will be able to build on those small steps, and feel a growing sense of mastery. You candevelop your confidence again. My clients are finding a “life worth living” by trying new things even when it’s challenging.
When anxiety and depression have worn you down, it’s helpful to get back to activities and people who help you find joy. Life is meant to be abundant and a source of growth. We need to find our passionagain and why we are on this earth. Small steps will give you hope, keep you interested, lift your moodand help you move to a more satisfying life.
