This morning a group of my friends was discussing over breakfast, how we deal with major changes in our lives. We all agreed that there does not seem much control in most situations; and stress is unavoidable, even if it’s good stress (“eustress”, as in when you get married or have a baby). So the condition of being human means we will always be moving through some sort of change, even though humans feel safer with certainty! I see folks who are navigating divorce, the death of a spouse, aging, kids going off to college- all these are momentous shifts we may all need to address.
However, having some tools to tap into your best options where it comes to making important decisions, or getting “a feel” for what is going on, or coasting more gracefully through inevitable changes, would be helpful.
When you practice Mindfulness, you learn how to make “Wise Mind” decisions so that the stress of change is lessened. The world and events move so fast, that the Anxious (fear based) Mind feels pressured to jump into decision making before being ready. Of course, getting in touch with your “gut instincts’ can give you information about survival in a situation, but you may need more perspective than just this point of view. Instinct will help you get across the road safely, but checking in with Wise Mind (rational, emotional and intuition) involves slowing down, and in a quiet safe place, checking into yourself and asking the question then listening for an answer. When you are feeling more relaxed and safe, the Parasympathetic nervous system can help give a more balanced perspective. Then you can move through transitions with a deeper, calmer sense of how to transition more adeptly. Some folks benefit from journaling or drawing or accessing other forms of self-expression to tap into parts of their Deep Mind that they usually ignore.
Look for groups and trainings that help you develop more tolerance and acceptance of inevitable change in life. I offer individual and group coaching in Wise mind” decision making.
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