Recently a colleague introduced me to a very valuable book, “Suicide; the Forever Decision” by Paul Quinnette PhD. In his forthright way, he addresses the reader very directly about the choices folks make (including the ones reading his book) and the Pros and Cons of taking one’s life. Since I have seen the number of clients in my practice who have contemplated or tried suicide, increase lately, I feel this is a most timely subject to address.
Firstly, even though I have worked for over twenty years in psychiatric hospitals where people come in acute crisis to be protected (mostly from hurting themselves), I never fail to be surprised and saddened by those who contemplate taking their own lives. However as Paul states, the research shows that at least 50% of the U.S. population (and maybe even more) have thought about taking their own lives at least once in their lifetime. He points out that you don’t have to think of yourself as “crazy” or even have a clinical diagnosis to be included in this statistic.
Paul points out all sorts of reasons why this statistic is so dire, but that the ultimate reason is that people feel that since life is not worth living anymore and they are hopeless and helpless, suicide is the best option. They may have suffered a great loss, or overwhelming stress, or incredible anger at someone or themselves, or had a chemical imbalance, or decided that since a role model or family member had escaped suffering this way that they can do so also. Maybe they feel they are not moving up in their lives and feel stuck. They have come to the conclusion that this is the best option, even though like the “bug in the cup” analogy, they cannot see the solutions over the rim. Shockingly, one clinician who works with adolescents said “some kids think suicide is a fad. They have a big problem and they say, “I think I’ll try suicide this week. If it doesn’t work, I’ll try something else next week.” There has been a rash of “emotional contamination” in some Colorado highs schools where because one student has taken their own life, other students have decided that this is the way to go too. I see the parents of these teens and how they are tragically changed forever. Social Media carries this behavior even more quickly into a wider arena. It is no secret that the highest ‘successful’ suicide rate tends to be among teen boys who usually have more access to lethal means like firearms than girls. Another high risk is found in middle-aged white males who are living alone, divorced, isolated and have no support system.
The main point of the book is to persuade readers that until they have explored ALL the solutions open to them for a life worth living, they should not act. To allow oneself to reach out- to a trusted friend, a Crisis Line , to a professional who can explore all the ramifications of this act- to give oneself just ONE STEP BACK for now, from the ultimate decision- gives one a bit of an observational status or exploration time (or using Wise Mind, in DBT terms).
If you are feeling like taking your own life or that self-harming is the only option, please consider reaching out- to me (cell 303-588-6017) or another professional or to the Colorado Crisis Services (844-493-8255). Suicide is indeed a Forever Decision.
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