Lately, I have found myself talking with friends and clients about the Pros and Cons of using the Social Media. I must say that I can hardly imagine being without my Smartphone these days, but I notice myself anxiously checking it far too often. There is a sense of being on ‘hyper alert” for any pings or buzzes…I do not find that I relax so well with multiple screens running! Anxious minds need to relax more and stay in the present moment.
And I have also experienced more folks coming in who report being challenged by what they see on Facebook; often it seems that by comparison, their lives seem drab and they feel less than cheerful, while they see a storm of communication going back and forth with lots of happy smiling pictures and everybody using the word “awesome!”. Of course, there is the chance of being harassed or bullied as a teen, and the temptation to use Twitter or Snapchat to be emotionally spontaneous, in a very shorthand way. This can leave people filling in the gaps in their minds and second-guessing the seriousness or intent of the sender. Research also shows that the human mind tends to seek out what is NOT going well as a survival tactic- in other words, where is the danger?
So how does this really help an anxious or depressed person? From what clients tell me, this onslaught of information, whether it is well intended or not, can be a source of intense anxiety. Sometimes there is the sense that the chance of authentic ( meaning truthful or transparent) communication is not happening, and comparing oneself to another who is putting their best face on every screen, is less than uplifting.
Actually, we do have a choice of how much media stimulation we allow into our lives. Even as a therapist who needs to promote her business, I have been resisting joining Facebook for that very reason, I am already over stimulated by my inputs, and I would have little time and feel more vulnerable posting lots of personal pictures. Spending time in the garden, or outside in the landscape seems more calming. And calling a friend can often give me more authentic information. I’m sure it’s a generational experience too- I did not touch a computer until I was in my forties! The art of simplifying our busy lives is a challenge, but it can lead to more peace and harmony. So, what can help you feel less pressured?
Calming the nervous system is a necessity that all of us need to practice more often. We are already usually too hyper vigilant, whether it is navigating the highways, or watching the nightly news. We begin to think that the media is giving us the full picture. Perhaps rather than “fake”, the Media tends to favor a particular view of our personal lives, and can undermine our self-esteem. There is another interesting way the media takes advantage of the human mind wired for survival- it is what Nietzsche ( the famous German philosopher) called the “Fascination of Abomination” – the tendency to watch the suffering of others or the negativity of the world with horrified fascination, which only makes for more anxiety and depression. Ever have a problem sleeping after watching the media? Even the screens themselves physically interfere with our ability to shut off the thinking part of our brains.
In my Mindfulness training classes, we practice really using our senses, and reality checking to more accurately see our world, whether it’s our internal world or the external environment. We can also use the understanding of our bodies in movement to check out the difference between virtual or actual reality. Also, the basis of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT for short) reminds us that accepting what is happening right now, can alleviate suffering and help us begin to engage in problem-solving again. Please look at my newsletter or my website for upcoming trainings on both of these tools, or if you want to find a more formal mindfulness practice, check out the many meditation groups along the Front Range. I would also be happy to train you in a private session.
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