I grew up in Australia where I remember the Christmas and New Year holiday season as a delightful time with warmth and laughter; playing along the beach with cousins for the six-week holiday break, everyone arrived back home refreshed. And of course, there were fewer holidays those days- no Halloween and no Thanksgiving. And we had that whole six weeks off to look forward to. So no anxiety!
Fast forward several decades to this holiday season coming up… it seems so much more complicated and overwhelming. The traffic in town is pressured and frenetic. Which relatives do we visit (and when) so we don’t upset the others? What food to make and bring? What might be a gift that won’t break the budget? How about we just forget this whole consumer tackiness and go to Mexico… does this sound familiar? Instead of a time where we remember truly what the season is about, we can start to dread it. That’s not a great path to head down if you tend to be anxious or depressed.
Good news! You can do this differently. First of all, try simplifying life. If you really want to experience the relief of some ‘downtime’ from a stressful job or family ties, make a resolution to be with those people that uplift and energize you rather than feeling obligated to those that drain you. Honor your own needs. If you are an Introvert, don’t try to extend yourself to every Christmas party to which you are invited. Choose wisely, and use some “Cope Ahead” strategies so you don’t overeat and drink, and agree on a diplomatic exit plan if needed. And if you do have addiction issues, choose wisely so you aren’t subjected to the excesses of others or unnecessary temptations.
Try giving in different ways; a hastily bought expensive gift never means as much as something handmade or heartfelt. How about a simple card with a promise of a back rub or help cleaning the house? The gift of spending time with someone you love is the best, really attending in a mindful way to your family: reflect back what you hear they need, appreciating and validating how they feel- these are skills we all need to practice.
Also, the practice of giving thanks and being grateful for what we have is also just that- we have so much, but often our anxious minds default to “yes, but…” It seems that we need to remember our abundance. A spiritual perspective is helpful here too.
If you feel you need some support, brainstorming or processing as you approach this season, please contact me jilbawallace@lifemovescounseling.com and we can spend a session going over the best “Cope Ahead” plan for you.
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